About The Little Miss Sunshine

Lelakiku

Lelaki itu

penuh pesona,

Berbalut mahkota gelora dia pun bertahta

Teguh kukuh berlapiskan madu

Kadang layu, kadang berjingkat laju

Hanya aku yang tahu

Lelaki itu

Adalah misteri di dongeng para peri

Beragam warna dan rasa dikemudi gravitasi

Membuatku pedih, namun tak pernah mati.

Lelaki itu

Berparas ayu berlagak bayu

Menjelma empat musim di kaki langitku

Membuatku terbakar, mekar, beku, dan gugur

Namun di singgasana kalutku,

Ia tetap berbungakan rembulan,

Benderang dan nyaman

Lelaki itu

Tak pernah sempurna

Namun selalu penuh cinta.

Lelaki itu,

Lelakiku.

.

.

Dedicated to: My dearest Tsung,

Wish this little poem can make your 25th Birthday an extra-ordinary day,

Can’t think of any more bombastic words, sleepy liao…

If you need a translator, hire Ade ‘Lady Pinky Piggy’ to be one.

 

Love you always.

your ordinary yank.

.

<Puchong, 22 July 2006, 1.47 am>>

A Hall Full Jar

I just slept again. Don’t know because of the medication I took that causes drowsiness or just my body reaction on holiday mood. I feel my body stiff like timber. O, Damn! I cultivate too much fat already, flabby enough to dribble this round meat and BBQ it. Can’t continuously bare this lifestyle anymore.

But funny when I realized that my mind was still working when my body shut down. I remembered I analyzed my own last blog on my sleeping beauty. The last line where I mentioned about considering what I can contribute rather that what I can learn from the place where I should start my career. Call me arrogant, or just a lousy ‘reverse psychology’ theory that suddenly come out through my mind.

I think, sometimes I am just too selfish, wanna learn thousand things at once. Not only me, maybe it’s also you who are reading my blog now,… curiously wandering around the blogs and digging on others to see what you can learn and get from this unreal world of technology.

Eager to learn is extremely good, and needed when we really wanna be successful. People tend to change companies and jobs after exploiting to the limits. They leave when there is nothing for them to learn (in fact, there is always ‘something’). Take, and learn and take…. When is it time to give?

For the start, I want to acknowledge myself for what I have learnt and worked bloody hard for these 4 years. I start with a different mindset, “what can I do for the world?” Because I know, learning can happen everywhere.

When I work this ‘half full jar’ metaphor out, I start to realize how much I can do, and at the same time, I rebuilt my confidence. See, I told you.. it’s a reverse psychology to trick your own mind. When I stop to look for what I can learn from the others, my mind start to observe and analyze my own abilities and strength, and Bingo! I have enough power and ability to make a change. I have enough to give, to reach out. I am not only a hungry robot that starves for knowledge and thinks that she would never ever have enough of it. I feel rich. At least that’s how I feel now.

Well, it’s only the mentality, the learning is still the same. 

*Yeha 10th July 2006

   

PASSION vs MONEY

As a chinese-medanese, I always be discrimative when comes to this.

Passion and money.

4 years overseas, has open my eyes and give me a whole new idea of what life is. But, thanks’ God,.. it’s no brainwashing thou. The most wonderful experience ever, was my meeting with some really inspiring and passionate people in my life, those I truly respect and wanna learn from.

They’re willing to occupy their life with loads of work and responsibility that aint easy and never spell a single grumble at all. They might need to sacrifice other things in their life, maybe things as precious as life it is, but yet they survive. They stay awake overnights, sleep few hours a week, countable with fingers. They tear, they’re scared, they fail, but never let themselves drown in it. And yes, they deserve what they’ve been fighting for, a joy of passion and a drive of their own life.

By looking at them has already dropped me a spirit of life. I want to fight like a soldier of life.

.

And when I look back to the people on the land I was born. There’s something missing. Life has taught them a different lesson. As tough as they have to worship money as their guidance, a savior of life. Less passion.

I see my parents, my friends, they’re all struggling to live a better life, and above all… money is their tool. Well, not being a naive, we can’t live with it. But it has made them working damn hard days and nights without enjoying it. They see years ahead, and forget to feel how blessed it is to live in today.

Well,. I cant generalize or stereotype it, maybe not all of ‘em.

But still, i hate the question being asked to me all the time, "what can you do in your hometown? What can you learn? How much salary u can get?"

And hey,.. I just have a question to answer them, "Why should people judge a quality of work and life by amout of money they get?"

Money, is the only reason for some people to move on. Of course literally i mean, a better life. But honestly, almost most of my friends in Medan are clueless when asked about their plan for the future. I dont see that spark in their eyes, as if they’re working only as a part of routine in their daily life. Some showed ‘pain’ there, suffer to wait the end of the months to come.

It’s a different feel. Thanx a lot to those people who have shown me what passion really is. (I remember 2 years ago, my art director told me that we need ‘passion’ to work, I was blur.. what does she mean?

As time pass by, I dunt need to ask or look for the word in dictionary anymore, I can write a paragraph about it, i mean in my mind,… not sure whether i can describe it in words or not).

Now, let’s just cross our finger togather, FOR me,… haha… wish that i’m not only put it in words or dreams, but really in action.

Far further on the land I was born, where people see nothing good for my career, I see potential. It’s not about how much I can learn from there, but how much I can contribute. And along the way, I know… I’ll learn. 

*YeHa. 10th July ‘06. 5.05pm

a question mark?

nothing to write.

Just a question mark (?), and a comma

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

a never ending

question

?

(DAMN, i’m confused!)

Di persimpangan

Fiuhh,.. akhirnya semuanya selesai juga.

Saatnya untuk mendarat di dahan cemara,sejenak.

Menarik napas, membuka hati,

… mengamati hidup.

Kemudian kuprediksi cuaca,

Mencuri dengar bisikan angin tentang muasal kejayaan,

dan kuramalkan masa depan.

Timur, Tenggara, Selatan, Barat Daya

Barat, Barat Laut, Utara, Timur Laut….

Alunan nasib di persimpangan.

Saatnya ku menetapkan pilihan

‘tuk mengembangkan sayap, dan terbang lagi dengan ketangguhan.

Matahari, tunggu aku.

Kan kupeluk dirimu dan melebur dengan kukuh.

Jadi aku, sang penunggu waktu.

Yeha

(renungan 10 menit, dengan perut penuh santapan malam)